When it comes to talking about your ex, take care with how much you do so, with your potential next.
In Feast of Love, it always irks me when Kinnear mentions Blair to Radha upon their very first meeting. After all, first impressions last, and talking too much about your previous love is no way to start a new one. I’ll admit however that Kinnear doesn’t go overboard with this. He does mention Blair to Radha, yet in the process reveals his own endearing quality via the collapse of his marriage - a classic ‘humblebrag’, if you will. As a result, Radha is cautious of this failed formerly-married man, yet charmed and generally swooning over his vulnerability - which is perhaps the most underrated attraction.
When on the verge of a new relationship, it’s understood we’ve both had previous lovers. Just keep most of it to yourself, k?
It’s simple. The more times you try - the more times you fail - the more times you succeed.
And the same goes for relationships.
I can’t see how it’s even possible to learn nothing about each other, no matter how many times you fuck up the relationship. I’m fast coming to realise that making mistakes is arguably the best thing you can do in life. Not only does it mean you’ve tried (which is arguably the most important thing) but it also means you’ve come out the other end having learnt something which, moving forward, can only help.
This, in essence, is exactly what happened between Radha and David; her friend with benefits. For almost a year they hooked-up, broke-up and broke down… until officially cutting ties once Radha met and married Greg Kinnear within a period of time that would make even Britney Spears guffaw. As it turns out, this union was nothing but a ruse to create jealously in David, forcing him to finally break off his marriage and lure him into a making a full-time commitment to Radha. The plan worked, and once Radha had done away with Kinnear (again, in record time) David and Radha committed to each other once again. Sure they’d been through so much drama - yet this only resulted in each of them learning so much more about one other.
Once again, life should be all about making positives out of the negatives.
As much as we all like to be “in control” (or at least feel like we are) it’s often best to take a back seat and just let life take the wheel for a second.
This, sadly, requires patience. I hate patience. The human quality that is, not Patience from Aussie alt/pop band The Grates. I’ve never been good with patience, but find it ever so important in order to get through a “rough period” one finds one in; whether that be on account of work, love, life or money. In just one day you’ll be sick of it all and ready as fuck to make a move in order to be happy right now. Yet in this craze of hatred and stress and desire, you’ll forget that perhaps if you just held your horses, life would unravel itself to provide an even better situation you’d have never experienced had you acted on that freak out.
This is the golden lesson Greg Kinnear experiemces in the mere seconds before meeting the next love of his life.
Following his horrible divorce from Slelma Blair, Kinnear falls into a depth of despair, generally eating nothing and hating everything. Then, just as he announces to Freeman his decision to move on with his life and simply let nature take its course; it does. Radha Mitchell, his future wife/2nd divorce-to-be, wanders into his cafe and his life and, for a while, brings some happiness he never thought possible.
Kinnear waited. And reaped the benefits of such… until of course Mitchell cheated on him with her fuck-buddy but that’s not really the issue here now, is it?
Sometimes, life sucks. It’s only natural to fix it and make it better. Though if that’s not working, give it a rest and let life fix itself.
You’ll probably end up happier than you would’ve made yourself.
*For the record, I like Patience from The Grates. Probably have a crush on her but then everyone does :/
You go through life just as anyone would - taking on a few jobs, bedding many lovers and meeting so many different people from so many different backgrounds. Some of which you lose touch with and some of who end up being a close friend who stays around until the day you leave this place. Unfortunately though, there’ll be those who don’t stick around; who’ll you’ll either have a falling out with or who simply just fade away when you no longer have anything in common, or come to the realisation that the relationship you had was based on proximity, or a job, and nothing at all real.
It’s only natural to mourn this situation, especially when it’s someone very close to you or someone you shared so much with, like growing up. At the end of the day though, that’s life. People change, and they never stop growing. So the possibility that you can grow apart from someone is very real.
Think about who’s in your life right now, and who genuinely deserves to be there. If the people who come to mind have continually let you down, chances are you’re wasting your time inviting them to events on Facebook and endlessly attempting to catch up with.
Value yourself, dammit! Know your worth.
If the people in your life right now are genuine, supportive and actually care about you, that’s good. That’s “base level”. Now when you find yourself being let down by some of these guys and have ”drifted away from base”, you’ll just need cull again in order to get back there.
It feels nice to delete some Facebook friends, but it’s actually healthier to do so in real life.