FEAST OF DAN

There comes a time in life, probably a few times actually, when you simply can’t ignore the signs and just have to go with it.

Feast of Love is a movie picked completely at random on December 30, 2011. It would then instantly become the movie I’d aim to watch every single day of 2012 and thus spawned FEAST OF DAN - a name of this blog and the subsequent movie game-show that took almost no effort to come up with. The storyline revolves around the almost endless kinds of love that are available to us, most of which I’ve experienced this year. Finally, among many other things that prove how beautifully natural it was for Feast of Love to become the movie I’d enter into a full-time relationship with this year, Greene Street Films produce it - and for the majority of this year I lived on Green Street. 

In my personal life I’ve recently discovered just how important it is to live a life based on feeling and gut instincts. A life where if it feels right, you should do it. So now that I look back, it seems that Feast of Love and I are a perfect example of this - an idea and experience that has been so natural and effortless.

No matter how fucked up.

If at first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up and try again.

Indeed this is sage advice for life in general and a dope lyric (rest in peace Aaliyah), but could this mantra also apply to love?

Hell yes it can. And if you don’t believe that, you don’t believe in love.

Word? 

Day 171 - Can’t Stop Won’t Stop

This is all I did today.

Given how crazy busy the last few months have been planning Feast of Dan, this was absolutely necessary. It’d been far too long since I had occupied a stool at Pillar of Salt for much of the afternoon while drinking too much coffee and enjoying arguably the best banana cake/muffin I’ve ever had. This, coupled with the opportunity to read, made for a wonderful day. Yet one in which I couldn’t, despite all this, shake the feeling that I “had something to do”. I’ve been in 5th gear for so long while planning Feast of Dan, that dropping down to 2nd will now take some getting used to. 

Not a fan.

So now we’ll edit the hour or so worth of footage down to a passable 22 minutes, and plan for Feast Of Dan 2.0.

Mo Money, Mo Mentum friends. Let’s get back to 5th gear.

Every time you experience some bullshit, it’s comforting to know you can always come home to something.

Sunday night, for what could easily be the 20th time, I watched High Fidelity. I’ve been around a while and so during this time, this little gem of “Men Rule!” filmmaking has become somewhat of a haven for me - my “break-up film”, if you will. I can almost guarantee that after each of my break-ups I’ve at some point had a few too many reds and sat down to watch John Cusack go back through the many women he’s experienced failed relationships with to find out, once and for all, where he’s going wrong. And so, the other night, I did just that. 

And I couldn’t help but think, “I wonder if Feast of Love is someone’s break-up film?”

Is there someone among the 6,973,738,433 people of planet Earth who will always go back to Feast of Love in order to once again feel optimistic about love and life?

Further proof that (most) men don’t need much in order to get the juices flowing. 

It’s a shame that we never hear about Chloe’s background. And what’s an even bigger shame is that Oscar sees no need in seeking such. On the very night of their first meeting (you know, the night were Chloe goes back to Oscar’s house and sleeps with him and the theme of her never wearing a bra is set in motion) Chloe is very inquisitive about this new man. And rightfully so. As a result, we learn of Oscar’s Mum who left home when he was young and all about his abusive, alcoholic father and then his own drug-ridden past and subsequent road-to-sobriety. So by this time, not only is Chloe just gagging for it, but we, and Chloe obviously, know about as much of Oscar’s “heavy stuff” as one would need. They make out, yada, yada, yada, Chloe stays over, and they begin a wonderful relationship that leads to them buying a house and Oscar dying of a heart attack… all without ever getting to know who the real Chloe is.

Men, as a rule, will generally go for just about anything with great legs, nice teeth and a head of hair. A woman can walk into a room and we’re already aroused. While this is very comforting for women, it takes away any real need for men to be aroused in any other ways, which are arguably the better ways. For men, it’s one thing to be sitting across from a woman and think, “fuck this girl is so cute I just wanna lay one one her”. Yet, it’s a whole ‘nother thing to sit across from a woman and think, ”fuck this girl is so cute AND what she ‘s saying and how she’s saying it is so attractive that I wanna lay one on her even more than I normally would!”.

This, for mankind, is one of life’s great moments. Though unfortunetly for Oscar, he’s unable to appreciate the beauty of such an event because “chatty Cathy Chloe” won’t let him get a word in before summing him up in under 5 minutes and jumping his bones.

Life fact: Talking to a girl can be just as arousing as looking at a girl.

I’m sitting here watching Feast of Love and, perhaps inspired by last night’s blog, all I can think about is how I have no idea what to make for dinner.

I would like a really good salad. Yet, I lack any great experience eating salads let alone making my own, so I’ll feel like a real amateur if I attempt one. Say I were a man of many salads, I’d know instantly what flavours and ingredient combos work and which don’t, and the whole process of creating this meal would be far more promising than intimidating. Yet, here I stand with no history of making a great salad, much like someone who has never experienced a serious relationship. Creating a great salad and creating a great relationship pretty much rely on the same thing:

Experience.

It’s long been my theory that after each failed relationship you actually get better at being in one. Each time you separate from someone, you can’t help but add new things to the ever-growing list of what works and what doesn’t. You’re not only able to narrow down the qualities in a partner which you just can’t compromise on, but also learn more about how some of your own qualities could use some work, if you’re ever going to make a great, long-lasting relationship.

And so here marks a turning point for Greg Kinnear and I. I’ve long been critical of Greg’s many failed relationship’s and the immediacy with which he’ll jump from one serious relationship to the next. Yet now it’s occurred to me that yes, while his actions seem hasty and ill-informed, his heart is in the right place.

Because at the end of the day, brother’s just trynna make a great salad, yeah?  

If you’re heart’s not in it, chances are it never will.

It’s 7:30pm on a Friday night. Following one too many after-work drinks, you’re en route to a night on the couch with some dinner, a few DVD’s, and some “me” time. The most anticipated of these is dinner, where you’re pretty freaking excited to get in the kitchen and git kreative. Though with a stomach containing nothing more than those post-work wines and a patience wearing thin, you find yourself overcome with the myriad of options of exactly what to make for dinner. Homemade pizza? Stir-fry? Some wicked pasta thing? After too long and only in the interest of getting the hell out of the supermarket, you rally up the ingredients required for your creative stir-fry. Both because you enjoy stir-fries and also because you already have most of the ingredients in your basket anyway. At the checkout, on the way home and even as you put oil in the pan you’re in two minds about the decision you made. Then, just as you cue the DVD and take the phone off the hook and have the first forkful of delicious stir-fry in your hand, you decide that yes, you should’ve made a pizza.

When it comes to food or work or love, if you’re any less than 100% sure of your situation from day one, then you’ll never be. Don’t be like Greg Kinnear and force a relationship with Radha Mitchell that deep down you know isn’t what you want/need or will work. Be honest with yourself, and it won’t be hard for you to be so with others.

Sometimes in life all you actually really need, is to be assured that you’re doing okay.

Anyone who knows me, well anyone who knows me in real life at least, is aware that I’ve been through a pretty effed up few months. Add to this the fact that I’ve still had to watch this freaking movie everyday and yeah, you could say it’s been a pretty heavy year so far. That’s why upon hearing of my parents visit from the Sunshine State to sunny Melbourne, I eagerly awaited a few days of “emotional R&R”, wherein I could reap the pearls of wisdom only those who’ve been around the block a few times can provide. Said weekend just passed us, and I can confirm I feel more emotionally stable than I did this same time last week, which some would argue is still not enough but they’re jerks who can GTFO. What’s interesting though is that in the most wonderful case of quality over quantity, this spike in my emotional state was caused not by a whole weekend of family time, but by a moment within it.

At the pointy end of a weekend filled with brunches, lunches, dinners and drinks, my parents and I enjoyed one last dinner together prior to their departure. Following a week of deep and meaningful conversations and love and support, in mere seconds my Mother, the most amazing woman in the country, fixed me. As we said our goodbyes, my Mum insisted that I was “doing really well”, and just like that, made everything good again.

In this modern age, we’re too convinced that it takes a great deal of effort, time and/or money to make someone we love feel better. When in fact, the key is to keep it short and sweet, though when it comes to doing so, my feeling is that too many of us unfortunately focus on the former, more than the latter. 

In Feast of Love, this probably happens. 

When offering advice to those so desperately seeking it, you not only run the risk of coming across too blunt, but also having it be misinterpreted.

In “Feast of Love”, Chloe seeks the advice of a fortune teller who’s advice for her just may be a prime example of this. In this scene, said batshit crazy fortune teller attempts to put Chloe’s mind at ease in regards to her future and that of Oscar, Chloe’s overnight soulmate. The fortune teller assures Chloe that, ”people can keep other people alive”, leading her to believe that love is so great, it has the power to heal even the most heinous plagues and diseases of the 21st Century. Therefore, Chloe goes away confident in the fact that no matter what happens to Oscar in the future, as long as she loves and cares and supports him, he’ll live a long and healthy life. Minutes later in film-time, Oscar suffers a heart attack witnessed by an understandably horrified Chloe, who surely can’t work out how the treatment prescribed to her by an unlicensed woman who’s office doubles as her lounge room, could have possibly gone wrong.

Did Chloe at any point stop to re-consider the advice given to her by the fortune teller? And that, perhaps, by “people” she meant, a doctor?!

Sure, you’re free to seek it and take it, though you better make damn sure you understand the advice you’re given.

What I’m perhaps mourning more than anything else since losing all 6 months of Feast of Dan blog posts, are all my witty titles.