Posts Tagged: greg kinnear

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Greg Kinnear could have saved a pinky finger, and a considerable medical bill, had he simply remembered the negatives.

What sounds like an awful life choice is actually a positive.

At the conclusion of any great life experience it’s so easy to look back and see nothing but the good times. The juiciest part of a roast chicken sandwich. That one time after-work drinks started at 4 ,instead of 5. The exact middle sheet of a toilet paper roll and how freaking good it felt. It’s nice to reminisce sure, but all the while you’re overlooking that bone you chomped in to and the fact that you’re working a shitty office job and getting excited about toilet paper. It’s natural to want to re-live good times like these, though it’s only then that you realise why you left a scenario in the first place. You re-live, make the same mistake again, and are back to square one.

For Kinnear, wanting so desperately to have his life with Selma back, he can only list the positives of their relationship. Though he had more chance of moving on with his life completely, if he’d simply done this:

To forget a relationship, you need to remember the negatives.

Simple.

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While we can’t avoid having a vice when going through a rough life patch, we can however choose which one.

We often rely on vices in order to survive those horrible life experiences. Though the actual term conveys a negative connotation seeing as they’re usually thought to be alcohol, drugs or violence or all of the above. People forget that vices can actually be beneficial, such as exercise, music and dark chocolate. Excessive amounts of each of course, but still, excessive running as opposed to excessive drug use is probably better for you.

In Feast of Love, Greg Kinnear opts for violence or rather, self-mutilation, as his vice. His excuse is that he wants to feel as bad physically as he does emotionally, and so figures that chopping off the top of his pinky finger would come close to equalling this level of emotion. Apparently, it worked. Though I’m convinced that if instead Kinnear had pushed himself on the running track or turned the volume up to 11 on some Zeppelin or old Black Keys or Simon & Garfunkel, he’d have cured his broken heart, sans an exorbitant hospital fee.

Sure you can choose a vice which will help you forget, and make you feel worse than the heartbreak ever did. Though if chosen wisely, you can get so much more out of it, like a reconnection with great music or an appreciation for exciting new cuisines or that beach body you’ve always wanted.

If you’re going to have a vice, make it nice.

(omg vomit is it obvious yet I’m not drinking while I write?!)

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The most dramatic action yields the fastest result.

At least, that’s Radha Mitchell’s thinking.

In her quest to trade a naively faithful husband in Kinnear for her long-term booty call in David, Mitchell figures out a way in which to do all of this in the most painful, quickest way possible. Since the “we have to talk” conversation can be ever so dramatic and drawn-out, Mitchell figures that if she (literally) does away with her wedding ring and publicly makes out with David, word will eventually get back to Kinnear and he’ll storm out in a rage and that will be that. So, Mitchell sticks to this plan and is proven right and then I considered this:

In life, what hurts the most will do so for the shortest time.

Marinate on that for a bit and I’ll follow up laterz…

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All this business about the axing of The Circle has me up in arms.

Though not in the way you’d expect.

The loss of yet another decent Australian program has confirmed that one of my biggest life gripes, perhaps even the biggest one, is how we never appreciate what we have until we no longer have it. Complacency and taking things for granted has slowly but very surely become simply a part of this 21st century life. The Circle had been running for almost 3 years. This cancellation has a lot of people upset because, for once, they felt that quality Australian content was possible after all, and The Circle was proving this. The hard truth however is that, had the amount of love and affection currently being thrown upon the program occurred during it’s run, I’d have had to think of something else to write about tonight.

In Feast of Love, I often wonder if Selma Blair feels this way. Once she discovers her lesbian ways and leaves Greg Kinnear for a woman, we never see or hear from her again. Which is a shame because I’m very interested to find out how a relationship flourishes, when it only started because another ended. So too, I wonder if, much like these “die-hard fans” of The Circle, Selma lays in bed some nights lamenting her decision to end her marriage, yet only doing so because she doesn’t have it anymore.

Hmmm… thoughts.  

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When you know things are too good to be true, once your suspicion is proven right you’re as much disappointed as you are relieved to find out you were right in the first place, and also intrigued to know just how.

This case is most common in the early days of a really great relationship. Following several dates you’ll be convinced that this person is so good looking and witty and charming that there may well be nothing at all wrong with them. A few dates later, and you’re actually thinking this might be it. Game over. Monday morning - ring shopping. Yet before you make it to Tiffany’s or Cash Converters or whatever your fancy, comes the moment that sows the seeds of suspicion which soon sprout into branches of doubt.

It can start with one seemingly little thing, which is only magnified by the weeks or months of suspicion that you’ve harboured. Nevertheless, that bad clothing choice or Dad joke or racist remark your partner makes can prove to be the start of something - something which sets in motion the demise of the greatest relationship ever, simply because it opened your eyes to all that was existent the whole time you were wearing rose-coloured glasses.

And so how does this relate to Feast of Love you ask? 

When describing Radha to Mr. and Mrs. Driving Miss Daisy, Greg Kinnear agrees on how great looking his wife-to-be is. So much so, that he utters the phrase: “heck knows what she sees me”.

This my friends, the whole “heck” thing, would be a deal-breaker for me. Or it would at least set into motion my doubts about someone who I initially thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. For you see, it can be something as potentially Tom Petty as this, but you’ll soon find out, and be relieved to do so, that it’s just the tip of an iceberg that you’ll never want to see again.

TRUTH.

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This week two very lovely people in my life are heading off to New York for a month - to celebrate their honeymoon.

If 6 months ago I suggested that this would be the case, each response would’ve been more “I wish” than “I know”. Yet in the words of the great Janet Jackson, that’s the way love goes.

I’m not wrong in saying that each party acknowledges the whirlwind nature of this romance. Though so too, they’d also be well aware that it’s as much of a whirlwind romance as it is one that many are envious of. Their week has involved incredible parties, a lovely wedding and a month-long trip to New York - all because of one thing:

They jumped.

In Feast of Love, Greg Kinnear laments his bad run of romance on account of his habit of not looking before he leaps.  Life is a gamble - so we all recognise that every time we do leap into a new commitment of any kind, the 50/50 chance of it working out and not working out, is very real. Though far too many of us think about tomorrow more than we do about today, and thus will rarely go with a gut feeling only because of how it may or may not work out tomorrow. A life led on feeling alone is a life lived in the present. My two very good friends are doing just that, and as a result, have just experienced what I can assure you was a pretty impressive bucks/hens night, but so too, are happily married and headed overseas for a month.

So to those who second guess everything I ask - are you heading to New York this week?

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I’m sitting here watching Feast of Love and, perhaps inspired by last night’s blog, all I can think about is how I have no idea what to make for dinner.

I would like a really good salad. Yet, I lack any great experience eating salads let alone making my own, so I’ll feel like a real amateur if I attempt one. Say I were a man of many salads, I’d know instantly what flavours and ingredient combos work and which don’t, and the whole process of creating this meal would be far more promising than intimidating. Yet, here I stand with no history of making a great salad, much like someone who has never experienced a serious relationship. Creating a great salad and creating a great relationship pretty much rely on the same thing:

Experience.

It’s long been my theory that after each failed relationship you actually get better at being in one. Each time you separate from someone, you can’t help but add new things to the ever-growing list of what works and what doesn’t. You’re not only able to narrow down the qualities in a partner which you just can’t compromise on, but also learn more about how some of your own qualities could use some work, if you’re ever going to make a great, long-lasting relationship.

And so here marks a turning point for Greg Kinnear and I. I’ve long been critical of Greg’s many failed relationship’s and the immediacy with which he’ll jump from one serious relationship to the next. Yet now it’s occurred to me that yes, while his actions seem hasty and ill-informed, his heart is in the right place.

Because at the end of the day, brother’s just trynna make a great salad, yeah?  

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If you’re heart’s not in it, chances are it never will.

It’s 7:30pm on a Friday night. Following one too many after-work drinks, you’re en route to a night on the couch with some dinner, a few DVD’s, and some “me” time. The most anticipated of these is dinner, where you’re pretty freaking excited to get in the kitchen and git kreative. Though with a stomach containing nothing more than those post-work wines and a patience wearing thin, you find yourself overcome with the myriad of options of exactly what to make for dinner. Homemade pizza? Stir-fry? Some wicked pasta thing? After too long and only in the interest of getting the hell out of the supermarket, you rally up the ingredients required for your creative stir-fry. Both because you enjoy stir-fries and also because you already have most of the ingredients in your basket anyway. At the checkout, on the way home and even as you put oil in the pan you’re in two minds about the decision you made. Then, just as you cue the DVD and take the phone off the hook and have the first forkful of delicious stir-fry in your hand, you decide that yes, you should’ve made a pizza.

When it comes to food or work or love, if you’re any less than 100% sure of your situation from day one, then you’ll never be. Don’t be like Greg Kinnear and force a relationship with Radha Mitchell that deep down you know isn’t what you want/need or will work. Be honest with yourself, and it won’t be hard for you to be so with others.

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Day 144 - Bjorn Again

It can either be annoying, humbling or necessary for personal growth, but like it or not, life will always work out a way to set you back.

This past Tuesday I awoke to log on to Tumblr and revisit an old draft, while also reminding myself of how witty I’d been the previous night. Yet soon after the Safari predictive address function completed my request for feastofdan.com, only the above appeared. In the old days of dial-up the rest of the webpage would have fully loaded upon my return from an hour-long run. Although very, very unfortunately, we no longer live in the stone age of dial-up internet so thus seeing what I saw become a tad more alarming. 

Yes.

For reasons still unknown, it appears that everything I’ve worked on over the last 6 months regarding Feast of Dan has vanished. While shock, disappointment and bewilderment were understandably my immediate reactions, I can honestly say that these feelings were surprisingly quick to dissipate. Once the short grieving period had been done with, the only thought left remaining was “how do I turn this around and Just. Get. On. With. It?”

And so here we are. “Day 144”.

Getting on with it.

While every word, photo and mention of Radha Mitchell’s generous bush has now long gone, at the end of the day, I still know what I did. Plus, I still have to watch this fucking movie. Any proof of what I’ve achieved here over 6 months ceases to exist though myself and my Mum and the other 2 people who regularly read this rubbish know what I wrote, and how I wrote it… and that’s one thing that can’t be deleted. So too, most of what I’d previously written about can now be re-hashed as “new material” for those Feast of Dan late-comers, and most importantly yes, I did save the photo of me in the bath. 

So all is not lost.